Self Care Primer

Let’s talk self care shall we?  There are many different forms of self care but the one I want to discuss today is based on a quote by anonymous that I just came across:  “Be prepared for rejection if you refuse to be manipulated.”  So much packed into this one little sentence!  First of all, refusing to be manipulated implies that one knows what manipulation looks like.  I will admit, it took me years to learn the various ways that people in my life had manipulated me.  When I finally figured it out, I got sad with that new awareness.  For a while.  Then I moved out of victim mode and empowered myself by setting boundaries.  And refused to allow those people to manipulate me anymore.  And yeah, there was rejection.  But good self care begins with us knowing that we deserve good in life, we deserve to treat ourselves well and we deserve for others to treat us well.  It begins with learning to recognize manipulation.  I began to learn what manipulation looked like from my mentors.  So really the first step begins with getting good mentors.  Start there.  Find someone you admire, someone who lives the kind of life you strive for.  Find someone you can talk with.  Then ask.   It is really that simple. Just ask.  All they can do is say no, and if they do, move on.  Remember that there is a Thing Within Us that knows a bigger picture, and you can trust that with that guidance of the Spirit within you, the right person will show up.  And then begin to talk with them.  REALLY talk.  Start small, but talk.  This person won’t try and “fix” you because you don’t need fixing.   They won’t try and hold you accountable because you are a big boy or girl and perfectly capable of holding yourself accountable.   Good mentors are people who listen with a compassionate heart, and then offer their own perspective on what is going on in your life.  Such perspective comes from their own experience and wisdom.  They might guide you to a book, or a spiritual practice.  As the relationship builds, it will morph into something very valuable to the both of you.

Your affirmation: Today I do good self care, because I deserve it.

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